


To: My Love

by mortalhannah



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, DreamSMP - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minecraft, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, karlnap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortalhannah/pseuds/mortalhannah
Summary: Sapnap slowly starts falling for his best friend after a small gesture, what will he do about this small crush?
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	To: My Love

**Author's Note:**

> If any content creators mentioned change their mind about fan fics being written about them I will take this down as fast as possible, but for now, enjoy :)

A small ding rang through the discord call as his friend joined it. A small smile rose to Sapnap’s face as he heard the boy’s voice ring through his headphones. “Hello!” The boy said, excited to finally get to talk to his friend after a few days of being offline. 

“Hi hi,” He responded, shifting in his chairs to get comfortable. “Are you streaming?” Sapnap asked leaning forwards and booting up minecraft on his other monitor.

“No, I don’t think I’m going to stream tonight, you?” He asked, joining the same server as Sapnap. ‘The Dream SMP,’ a roleplay server for a ton of streamer friends to hang out on, watched by thousands as it is live streamed every so often. 

“Where are you right now?” Karl asked, trying to find Sapnap in the world, “I have a gift for you.” He giggled as he started running to where L’manburg once stood, a nation now blown up from a war they had.

“I’m at your house actually.” Sapnap replied, looking through Karl’s chests to find some blocks. He wanted to finally build a house instead of living in other people’s houses. 

A few minutes later, he saw the small figure running towards him from over a small hill. As he crouched up and down in front of him, he threw a red flower at Sapnap’s character. The flower showed up in the empty space of his hot bar and read _‘To: My Love.’_ He smiled to himself before thanking his “soon to be husband.” 

It was known in their fandom that Karl, Sapnap and their other friend Quackity were all in a poly-amorous relationship in the roleplay server. They were to be married soon, but it was all a bit for the streams, right? They pretended to flirt on stream but why would he give him the rose off stream? 

Sapnap began to overthink his feelings to Karl. He’d sometimes think about what would happen if it were real, having a relationship with one of his best friends that meant more than just friendship. It may seem weird but it’s all he could think about sometimes. The thought of being the one Karl would love endlessly looped in Sapnap’s head for hours each day.

~

Karl was constantly on his mind. Every little thing that happened after that moment reminded him of Karl. The small breeze of the wind against his window as he slept at night reminded him of the small breathing during their silent calls. The silence between them, not awkward but comforting. They could sit in a silent call for hours. 

They’d watch movies together on discord calls, laughing, crying or just drowning out the movie as they spoke. It was peaceful knowing he had someone to talk to constantly. Karl was the type to drop everything he needed to do just to talk. Even if Sapnap felt it was unimportant, Karl would still listen to every detail and tried to give advice and support in any way he could.

The small creaks of the house at night as he walked around restless reminded him of the little whispers and giggles Karl would make during their calls at the late hours of the night. During the times when they just talked for hours at 3am or 3pm, the small giggles he made at Sapnap’s jokes sent butterflies to his stomach.

Sapnap dreamt for one day where he’d know for sure if Karl felt the same. He wanted to be the one to comfort him when he was sad, cuddle him at night as they fell asleep, be there for him when he needed it most. He wanted to be the one to make him smile, to see that small frown turn into a grin when he was trying to cheer him up.

He had fallen asleep early that night thinking about what it would be like if the feeling was mutual. What were the chances though? The thought made him slowly sink into an overwhelming, overthinking mess, the small pit dragging him into an empty hole of darkness. He wanted to curl up in his bed forever knowing the one he wanted, didn’t want him back.

~

After hours of trying to get to sleep but ultimately failing, Sapnap now laid staring at his ceiling before he was abruptly awoken by the noise of a discord call coming through his laptop. He jumped out of bed in hopes of it being one of his friends Dream or George. He desperately wanted to talk to one of them about how he was feeling. He wanted to know if he was overthinking everything. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t blind to the fact he might like him back.

To his surprise, it was Karl calling him. He joined the call and heard two other voices arguing in the back as Karl welcomed him over the yelling. Sapnap recognized the other two as Quackity and George once again arguing over “who asked.” 

“Welcome Sapnap, I’m live by the way. Wanna play some minecraft?” Karl said softly, warming Sapnap’s heart. He loved the way he spoke to him, so soft and calming. It only seemed he spoke to Sapnap like that, he never spoke like that to his other friends. But yet again, Sapnap felt he was overthinking the situation.

“Sure, I just woke up, sorry if I sound a little tired.” He replied logging into the SMP yet again. He was in the house he built a little bit ago that now sat outside Karl’s house. He wanted to be as close to Karl as he could. He wanted to stay with this boy forever even if it meant through a video game.

They walked around the server together, observing the blown up lands and the broken buildings. The nostalgia from the server spread to Sapnap’s face as he smiled at the first known buildings on the server, even if most were destroyed.

He noticed Karl being silent at the other end of the call but he didn’t have the guts to say anything, too scared he’d sound desperate to talk to him. 

“Hey Karl?” George finally spoke up after he finally stopped fighting with Quackity. “You’ve been kind of quiet, you okay?”

“What? Oh yeah I’m fine, don’t worry about it, just a bit tired cause I was up late last night.” Karl responded dryly. He sounded so uninterested in streaming but Sapnap didn’t want to cut into his private life. 

~

After wandering the SMP for a few hours, talking with the boys and chat of Karl’s stream, he decided to get off due to the lack of sleep from the night before. Quackity and George had already left, leaving Sapnap with Karl alone in the call. The awkward silence after they had left was scratching at Sapnap’s brain. He hated how he couldn’t say what he wanted to the boy on the other end of the line.

All he wanted to do was talk about how much he loved him, wanted to see him, wanted to meet him. He knew Karl probably didn’t feel the same though.

After trying to start a conversation with him but failing in the end, he decided it was time to play the “I need to sleep” card and log off.

“I think I’m going to head back to sleep now Karl, I’ll talk to you later tonight though.” 

“Good night Sappy sleep well,” Karl teased through the mic, leaving Sapnap blushing a bit at the nickname. If only Karl knew what he did to him. If only he could see Sapnap become a mess after a silly nickname.

“Byeeee,” He dragged out the “e” as he left the call. “I love you.” He whispered now out of the discord. He really wished he could have said it to Karl’s face but knowing he was live was nerve wracking. He couldn’t bear getting rejected in front of thousands of fans. But he wanted him to know he meant it. He wanted him to say it back.

~

Sapnap had failed to fall asleep yet again so he decided to just start his day. He walked down the stairs to his kitchen and plugged in his coffee pot, picking up the mug his roommate Dream left out for him before leaving to go visit family a few hours ago. 

Sapnap needed someone to talk to right now about how he felt. He wanted to get everything off his chest. Bottling up these emotions definitely wasn’t helping his mental health. 

A small buzz from his back pocket awoke Sapnap from his daydream.

He answered the phone before looking at the contact name. The small squeak of a familiar voice rang through his ears as he tried to stay awake.

“Sapnap?” He heard before his heart dropped to his stomach. The voice gave him butterflies, it wrapped around him like a blanket, sucking the air out of him but with the boy, he never wanted to breathe. He could solely live off the presence of him. “You’re awake still? I didn’t think you’d pick up. Sorry if I’m bothering your sleep.”

Sapnap tried to catch his breath again as he replied “Yeah, I couldn’t get to sleep so I’m just making some coffee. What’s up?”

He heard Karl breathe on the other end, almost like he was trying to tell Sapnap something but couldn’t spit it out. “I forgot why I called you, sorry to be a bother.” 

“You’re not a bother Karl, I enjoy your company even if it’s complete silence.” Sapnap replied quickly, too quickly. He’s afraid he’d scare off the boy by coming on too strong. “If I tell you something do you promise not to hate me?” Sapnap stuttered out without thinking.

It was now or never. He’s prepared for the heart break, or so he thinks. But what if Karl feels the same? What would he even do if the feelings were returned? 

“I could never hate you, don’t be silly Sapnap.” Karl giggled on the other side of the call as Sapnap’s heart started beating out of his chest. He couldn’t breathe but he desperately wanted to tell the boy how he felt. Holding on to such strong feelings will only result in more pain.

“What if I told you I liked you? What would you say?” Sapnap immediately regretted spilling his feelings. He leaned against the counter behind him and slid down it till he hit the floor. The call was silent for what felt like hours. He hopelessly awaited the response from the boy until a small sigh could be heard from his end.

“Sapnap,” He started, sighing loudly, “you mean ‘like’ like?”

“Yeah, ‘like’ like. I like you Karl Jacobs and I’m so sorry if this messes up everything for us but I just had to tell you.”

Karl’s breathing could be heard through the speaker but he said nothing. The time dragged on yet Karl hadn’t said anything. He couldn’t form words or a response to the shorter boy.

“I,” He started trying to get the right words into his head and out his mouth, “I’m so sorry Sapnap.”

Sapnap could feel his heart break right then, shattering into small pieces. He couldn’t breathe, it felt like his heart was torn out of his chest and stomped on right in front of him.

“I’m so so sorry Sappy, I don’t feel that way. I thought it was all a bit for the streams I never meant for it to go anywhere.I don’t feel the same, I’m so sorry.” Karl mumbled trying to let him down easy but nothing could save Sapnap the heartache he was feeling. 

“It’s okay don’t worry, I never expected anything to come from this dumb crush. I think I should try and get some sleep though, I’ll talk to you soon Karl.” Sapnap said, trying to not give away the obvious hurt in his voice as a tear flew down his cheek and onto his sweatshirt.

He hung up the call before Karl could say anything that would hurt him more. The words ‘ _I don’t feel the same’_ rang through his head before he cried more. 

Sitting on the kitchen floor with his phone clutched in his hands, he finally let the tears run down. He needed this, he needed to let out his feelings even if it would cause the pain and rejection he felt. This was for the best.

_I don’t feel the same_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! if there is anything I could change I am open to criticism so feel free to comment. also follow my twitter if you want :) @simphonk


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